January 17, 2016 0

This is my First Blog post of 2016 wow why did I take so long well a lot is going on more than I can bare and still trying to figure things out for the life of me but god is working on me that’s for sure one of my biggest challenges I face this year is having to remove my son’s visitations to his dad’s , I had to make the decision to keep my son away from his father for the time being and I know that every kid needs his father but if the father can’t even take care of himself  he is less likely capable to care for an eight year old , I prayed on this so many times and I did this for the best of my son , saddest part about all this is that his dad never called our kids for their birthdays nor the holidays to wish them well , I don’t know a lot of deadbeat dad but he is def one of them I mean I can write a book and its been a few months now since the changes and I have to add that my son is doing a lot better in school , at the after school program , at home especially I know I made the right choice and perhaps he says that he misses his dad he doesn’t really seems to show it , I think he was just used to having him around and he wasn’t really being a parent he was being a bad influence on him kinda like some ppl are bad influence on us well he was all bad. 

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Whether his father thinks I am at wrong I really don’t care because I have done nothing but enable him and have made things easy for him this whole time because I never want my son to rub it in my face that his father was never in the picture because I didn’t allow it but in reality actions speak louder than words and some people need to work on themselves before they can take on a big responsibility , it breaks my heart that my kids don’t have the male role model to look up to but with my pops and my bro filling in is more than enough and I will continue to raise my little one on my own with the great help of my family who have been so supportive and I have to “TRUST THE PROCESS” and keep my head and faith up high that I keep doing a great job and to continue to do the best that I can , I know so many single parents that are barley just getting by and are on the right path , I keep an extra bottle of wine in the back of the fridge when I really need it , but if your going thru a similar situation being confused is all but normal if it doesn’t feel right remove your child from a dangerous situation I hated going to work and leaving my son with his dad and being worried all the time was so frustrating and made me more stressed but I don’t have to worry about that anymore , the only thing I worry about is my parents that have a very energetic grandson that is nothing but naturally hyper all the time LoL , being more at home has helped so much and perhaps this was all gods plan and being out of a full time job is another story but these moments that I have with him have just been so amazing and my love for him as a mother has grown stronger and stronger that it scares me to love someone that much .



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