December 14, 2014 0

For the  first time in so many yrs we are celebrating Christmas in my family now rewind back a bit when I was growing up I didn’t have  a lot of family around and Christmas was always very depressing for me because for one we never followed traditions and opening presents wasn’t really a big thing I always wondered why and yes I did get toys and cloths but it wasn’t the same because I never really had the thrill of  opening present and being surprised and going back to school from that holiday break was always my fear because all my friends got new wardrobe for christmas vs me just sporting a new sweather or if I was lucky enough new tennis shoes I had to tell them that we didn’t celebrate it and that always threw me off every year so finally one year I asked my mom if we could get a christmas tree I begged her she finally said yes I used the excuse of lets do it for my little brother he deserves it he was too little actually he only cared about toys and after that one great year the tradition did not continue it was just a day like any other I told myself that when I have my children I wasn’t  going to project that I will always make sure that Christmas was alive in our household now some yrs we did celebrate it but it was until one Christmas that just killed it for all the rest of the yrs to come that year my Husband at the time had an affair on me and things were not going good because I had thought that his affair with her was done and over with but it wasn’t he took the time away from our family time to go see her and send her gifts I found out that night because something was telling me that he wasn’t being honest with me I called her and asked her …Was he there today ?? yes he just left Im sorry … I hung up because she was just as peththetic as he was she didn’t care that night he came home like nothing phased him and I told I knew where he was at and that this was going too far he had to choose , well to make the long story short just because my christmas was bad didn’t mean everyone’s christmas had to be bad the following yrs that came it just got worse and the christmas traditions got lessen my poor daughter was growing up the same way as me with no christmas tree how could I have let this happen well my only excuse was that we were not financially stable but that didn’t matter I did something about it the following christmas I became a single mother and had to play Santa Claus we had a little christmas tree that was up all year for the past 6 yrs and this year I came home from work and saw the pine leaves on the floor by the door leading to the leaving room there was this mid size christmas tree lit up it was a real Christmas tree to my surprise it looked amazing someone got the bug and it was my mom she had my daughter decorate the tree it was beautiful and I was so thankful that I didn’t have to say anything , Now the moral of this story is that not everything can come out in colors of the rainbow and if you Mix Black and White you get Grey make your own sunshine how ever way possible you can I admit I am still kind of a Grinch around this time of year still but I have been better at working out my issues and as long as my kids don’t see it I’m good 

10867142_10204324190538814_351747926_nMy advice to you if you are not in the Christmas Spirit try to do something nice for others or adopt a family for christmas there are a lot of kids out there that won’t have the joy of opening  presents this year or why don’t you go to a local shelter and find out what you can do to help there are a lot of homeless that don’t even have warm blankets to cover up with just take the good with the bad and take it with a grain of salt your bitterness does not need to go around others stay positive and pray that god will filled you with joy and happiness  , I had to find it sooner or later and don’t let the Grinch steal christmas again this year .

thank you for reading

Calipso the editor  xoxo

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