Sure it feels like the end of the world but are you really going to mope around and have others feel sorry for you ?? I think it’s ok to mope around but just for a little bit so you can get it out of your system but don’t drag this any longer than it should you can sit there and keep replaying the moments like what would you have done different what was the initial cause of the break up ? are you better off ?? was this person bringing out the best in you so many things to think about but here is a helpful guide that I have to say did help a lot when I was with someone who was very wrong for me he did me a huge favor he left me and now that I think about it I think I was fooling myself a lot just because it felt right ..
What did I like about him?
Now, don’t turn this into a sap-fest, but just consider the traits that drew you to him in the first place and realize which ones you still value. “Even though it didn’t work out between my ex-boyfriend and me — he never wanted to get married, I did — I loved how he was such a gentleman, always opening my door and standing up when I left the table,”
What didn’t I like about him?
Grab a couple of girlfriends for this one. “They’ll welcome that conversation,” Was he possessive? Arrogant? A cheese snob? Once you identify traits that turn you off, you can nip the next relationship in the bud before you spend another year with someone who says things like, “Sliced cheese? Puh-lease!” Seriously: If you bought a car without power steering, you’d never make that mistake again.
What didn’t I like about me with him?
“go back and look at the whole thing and try to see it as it really was. Ask ‘what was my part?’…. Maybe he was demeaning, but your part was that you put up with it.” So as long as you have your friends over for the boyfriend-bashing game, go ahead and ask them if you changed when you were with him. Were you a bit of a snob when you were together? Too eager to please him? Too busy with your guy to do your best at work? Once you figure out your mistakes, you can say, “Never again!”
How did my relationship with him affect other relationships?
Did you abandon your friends once he came into your life? And when you broke up, did you call them and ask, “So where are we going tonight?” as if you’d hung out with them the whole time? Oops. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in relationships we push our other priorities down the list, including our friends and families. “My family didn’t like my boyfriend (and now I see why)
What would I do differently?
Everybody knows that “what ifs” can consume you, and if you’re not over the breakup yet,
Ask yourself what you didn’t like about yourself when you were with the ex…
you should hold off on this exercise. But if you’re ready, thinking about what you would have done differently could be an enlightening experience.
“was there a lot of drama in the relationship ? how did the foundation of the relationship start ? was it already off to a bad start? did it come with a lot of baggage ? I used to ignore these factors and kinda still do because I am a hopeless romantic and I always have hope
“When you look back at the relationship and you have some clarity, you may realize there were maybe five things you liked about the person and 15 things you didn’t like at all.”
Plus, you may notice that there were always some clues. ” For instance, if you were with the “I’m-not-so-sure-about-this-marriage-idea” guy before, you know that being a “Well-maybe-I-can-change-his-mind” girl doesn’t work.
In the beginning not everything is hearts and rainbows lets be realistic here honeymoon phase is just temporary and the real work has to get put in right after maybe it’s a good thing that you guys broke up you deserve to be happy and this will take time and I advise you have your heart set straight before you jump into something else so soon every break up is a learning experience it teaches you what you want and don’t want in a relationship maybe your ok with dealing with his baggage but in the long run will it be worth it ? that is something that your going to figure out in due time .