Clearly this hasn’t been my year so far and we are almost at the END , but I am not letting that stop me , This year has been nothing but No’s and more No’s , NO I don’t feel the same about you , No I don’t have feelings for you , No we can’t be together , No I am not looking for anything serious , Men are dumb period…. No this job is just part time , No we have already filled the position, No you can’t be On-air no longer , No you are just not good enough , I can’t go any longer with this , You get me right ??? with so much personal problems with everyday life that I can’t share cause it’s just way too critical , I am in pieces but my exterior shows other wise who would think that my life is in shambles , I do think that the Yes’es do out weigh the No’s at some point and I plan on turning that around for the sake of my saness, for the No that didn’t wan to be with me I do believe I was too much woman for him now I realize that I don’t think he would know how to handle me even if I came with intructions , seeing someones true colors is yet both good and bad at the same time , for the one that isn’t looking for anything serious I think he’s just scared to love again that’s pretty sad , for the No you can’t be on-air this is what I have to say I will be someday and Dash Radio is giving me the sufficient wings to fly and do what I love and that is to transmit my energy thru music .
At this age I had already had an idea of what my life was going to be and well it’s nothing near that and that’s ok , perhaps finding my soulmate will have to wait , not really looking forward to kissing anymore frogs if you know what I mean so far all the frogs have been total JERKS!!! at this age of 39 peaking into my 40’s I did not imagine my life where its at right now , I wanted to move my family to LA well it’s gonna have to wait , and intresting enough I really wouldn’t mind moving to another state so I have been applying to other states , only god will tell , and I keep holding on to hope that my kids father will step up and man up to be a better father his excuse ….. I have no car , but there is a Bus and a Bike , ubber or Lyft last time I checked .
This age had it’s up and downs hoping for a better tomorrow always and when you get to my age having good health is such a big plus I couldn’t ask for anything more cause the scare I had last year was really No Joke , I am still a little scared but the worst is over , now eating the right foods and getting the right amount of rest is a major priority ..
I lost a good friend this year , that was very hard because I never really imagined him ever leaving us until he told me that he had gotten a life insurance it was when I went to go visit him at the hospital for his Last Birthday and he didn’t look the same anymore he was trying very hard to stay awake , he died a few months later I went to go see him the day before he left us it’s like he was waiting for all of us to see us one last time before he got his angel wings , my friend Oscar taught me a very valuable lesson actually a lot of them , he took with him all my secrets that I shared with him he knew all my pains and struggles and he checked me when he had to and never once did he ever judge me for all my wrong doings , his most used words were mensa y pro pendeja and also the “I understand why” if his purpose was to show me lessons in life he sure did he made my problems seem like the size of a penny compared to him battling cancer for the 3rd time well the 3rd time he lost , but we all won why because those that knew my friend Oscar were lucky to have known him he brought so much joy and happiness to our lives , he did amazing things to make a difference , and I had the privilege of helping him , I am still lost for words when I still read his last text messages and all the convos we had and all the advice he gave me and comfort words he told me …..this year was alot No’s and cause No I can’t text or call my friend Oscar when I need him , I can only talk to him when I close my eyes , or look up at the beautiful sky and there he is ….
My Dreams and aspirations have been taking a hold for a while but not trading them for anything else I worked so hard to build them and work on my craft to just throw them all away , Mommy duties have been all non-stop we are going through some difficulties I know God is working on this on Us .
” I Can’t Think Of Any Better Represenation Of Beauty Than Someone Who Is Unafraid To Be Herself”
“Don’t Grow Up it’s a Trap ‘