Tips on How to get Over a Break up!

May 31, 2014 0

Break-ups are the hardest thing to do and to deal with and healing from them take time nobody want’s to be sobbing in front of the couch watching Lifetime movies and stuffing your face with cold pizza , and quite possibly regretting the break-up , Ladies and Gents lets leave the sobbing for the cowards and take it like a man and learn how to get over it in no time if none of these work well then you just want to be Debbie Downer go ahead… ok just re-read them and try it .

1) Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively- Consider all the reasons why you broke up.

2) Don’t Re-think your Decision-  If the breakup was your decision, keep in mind that only thinking about all the good times you had with your partner may cause you to forget the reasons why you broke it off. By the same token, try not to second-guess the situation if the decision to end things was not yours. It’s very common to romanticize the good parts of the relationship, convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren’t so bad after all, that maybe you could just live with them. 

3) Keep Your Space- Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the breakup. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages, no Facebook, and no IMs – not necessarily as a permanent measure, but until you feel that you can converse with him or her on a grounded level  , you need your Me Time .

4) Cope with the pain appropriately –  It’s okay to feel like you have messed up – accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that you did your best and you’re not the only one who made mistakes.

5) Deal with the Hate phase- This is when you want to just scream because your rage feels boundless. The amount of anger you feel depends on how antagonistic the splitwas, the circumstances, and how long it took to make the final break. You may resent your ex for wasting your time. You may realize that the breakup was inevitable (hindsight will reveal clues you failed to notice at the time). You may even feel a lot of anger towards yourself, but let go of that feeling fast!  and it’s not worth your energy .

6) Talk to your friends –  You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you’ll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net. Stay away from those that keep nagging you and remind you that being with this person was a big mistake a see I told you so friend is not what you need right now .

7) Write all your feelings down Write in a journal or try writing poems . The most important thing is to be absolutely honest and don’t edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to understand valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you’ve been writing your way through it. 

8) Make a list of reminders – One of the best tricks to help you stick to your resolve is to make a list of all the reasons your ex was not the one for you. Be ruthless and clear––this is not the time to be forgiving. What you’re doing is creating a picture for yourself that will call up an emotional response when you feel tempted to think that “maybe if you just did this or that, it would work out…” Write down what happened and how it made you feel, being clear about the things you never want to feel again. When you find yourself missing your ex in a weak moment, and think you might actually be getting too close to the telephone, get out this list, read it over a couple times, and then talk to yourself, “This is the truth of what it was like. Why would I want to go back and torture myself again?” If you’re caught in a low-self-esteem trap, thinking you don’t deserve better, imagine this happening to a friend of yours, and think what you would say to your friend: “Get as far away as you can! That relationship was no good for you!”

9) Get out with the Old and In with the New –A mess can be overwhelming and depressing, and will just add to your stress  level. The added bonus is that keeping busy with tidying your space doesn’t require a lot of brain power, but does require just enough focus to keep you from recycling pain. Occupying yourself with such tasks designed to make yourlife better and easier will also occupy your mind enough to help you through the residual pain. Clean your room, get some new posters, clean up the icons on your PC desktop. As insignificant as cleaning up sounds, it’ll make you feel better.

10) Remove Memory Triggers – There are all kinds of things that remind you of your ex––a song, a smell, a sound, a place. Once the grieving period has had some time to process, don’t dwell on painful feelings or memories. There are probably things that are pushing your buttons without your conscious recognition. Try walking around each room in your house with a box and removing things that make your heart ache or your stomach turn. Really focus and look carefully. You may realize that the little blue bird-shaped box sitting on the mantel has become pretty invisible for the last couple years, but when you take a conscious look at it, you notice that every time you turn towards that corner of the room and it catches your eye, you feel a sharp little pain in your solar plexus. It can work wonders to clear your space of all these triggers. If you have a keepsake, such as a watch or piece of jewelry that was given to you by your ex, and it’s a reminder of the good aspects of your relationship, there’s nothing wrong with keeping such a thing, but for the time being, try putting it away for later, when you’ve given yourself some time and space. Put these reminders far away from you, such as in a box in a place you’ll never go. Out of sight, out of mind.

11) Find Happiness in other areas of your Life – Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, signing up for that class you’ve always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well.

12) Stay Active – Exercise improves your mood and alleviates depression, and the distraction will help keep your mind off your situation. Go running outside, visit (or join) the gym, or just go for a walk, maybe with a friend, and think of releasing the anger or sadness with every step. Plus don’t you want to look good the next time you run into him and let him or she know what they are missing .

13) Let go of  negative emotions- . Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache, regret, and hatred toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways. You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn’t work out this time, there will be a next time.

Getting Over someone can take weeks , months yrs but that’s all on you and Missing someone is a part of loving them. If you’re never apart, you’ll never know how strong your love is

Calipso Break-UpThings-you-Shouldn’t-do-After-a-Breakup1


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